Hey there beautiful people,
So, since I got a few readers, I think it would be time to tell something about myself and what I experienced. I first wanted to do some kind of ‘draw my life’ youtube video, but my life has been quite a roller-coaster over the last years, so that would make a loooooong video.
Let’s start with the beginning. I’m Anouk Schurink and I live in the Netherlands. I was born at august 20th of 1997. I was the second child but the first child died after 3 weeks, which is really sad because I saw pictures and some kind of diary my mom kept and all the positivity and hope really hit me. They decided to have another baby and I really respect that. I think they are so strong together for making this choice. About 2 years later my first brother was born, his name is Sybe (which is a pretty name to me) and 1.5 years later my second brother was born and he’s called Jochem. We lived in a really small town and I enjoyed it.
At primary school I didn’t had that many friends and I’ve always been an insecure kid so I felt kinda lonely but at that time I didn’t really care because I had 1 best friend she’s called Anne and she lived next to me for about 13(?) years I guess so I kind of lived at her place too. I also had some other friends, one of them is now one of my (two) best friends.On primary school I didn’t really experienced much I realise now. I moved to a farm when I was 6 or 7. It isn’t really a farm farm but more like a house farm, we don’t have cows and stuff. That was pretty much the most exciting thing I experienced until the age of 10. When I was 10 my little baby sister was born and she was just the cutest little girl I had ever seen. Now she is like my little best sister buddy, yay.
Than I went to middle school and I guess that’s kinda where my life went down. The first year I was like one of the girls that didn’t really fitted in anywhere. I felt kinda lonely the first year. The second year though was a bit better, I made friends and I finally thought I was going to go somewhere. I had good grades and lots of friends and I was a happy kid. Well on the outside, on the inside I felt lonely even though I wasn’t , but I was always like the 5th wheel, The others got along more and I always thought they liked each other more than they like me. In the third year everyone left my and I started to become depressed, I build up a wall of happiness so no one would suspect anything. Some bad stuff happened and it al went downwards. I started to self harm and I had suicidal thoughts, my grades went down and my parents got mad at me because of that and I truly felt like it didn’t matter if I was alive or not. I walked around with that thoughts for like 2.5 years. I accidentally told my (ex)boyfriend bout how I felt and he helped me to get help even though I didn’t want any help. I always wanted to do everything alone. My parents found out about my self harm and they sent me to a doctor who sent me to a psychologist. I had a 1 hour talk once a week and I had to keep a diary. It didn’t helped at all so after my worst period I was sent to a critical clinical. I’ve been there for a week and after that I started daycare. 2 months went by and it only started to get worse so we decided ( yes me too ) it was better to go to an0 intern clinical. (like staying there for 24 hours a day). It was quite a journey, the fist two months they were finding out what I had ( besides a depression) and I apparently had ADHD. The 2 months after that it started to go upwards, which brought me to the point I am now. I am currently about to get back to home and I am doing good now. I have not many people to rely on but I am really grateful to have the friends I have now.
So yeah that was the story so far. It is kinda long as I said and it actually is longer than I mentioned, but not everything that happened is meant for the internet. I hope you enjoyed reading it, well in some way. If you know anyone who suffered from depression or any form of disorder which looks like it, they can always come to me for help or to share their story. I would love to read or hear all of your lifetime stories.
Lots of love,